Gobblemeuup

You are going to learn very quickly that I don't have a talent for naming my dishes. But, I suppose that is something you'll have to forgive me for. If you have a suggested name that I like, I'll quickly adopt it. This name is kind of clever right... because it is a play on gobbledygook, turkeys, and eating food in general… no? Well, I tried. At this point, we might as well get down to business- I'm not entirely sure how this dish came to me, but I was feeling a little bit homesick and it got me thinking about leftovers. From there, I think I generally associated the food that DDS serves with leftovers because, mostly that's what they serve. Do you think that the garbanzo beans at the salad bar are fresh every day? No. That's why some days they're missing, but there happens to be a soup that has them in it. My intention is not to gross you out, it's simply to establish a way of thinking about the food on campus; a lot of it can be treated just like leftovers. In that spirit, this dish is loosely based on what my family does with Thanksgiving leftovers. When we have extra cranberry sauce, we use it as a jam and eat it on bagels with cream cheese, or we put it on a turkey and cheese sandwich with some carrots and onions for crunch and, a bit of horseradish to give it a little heat. This sandwich combines these concepts. I know what you are thinking, "You are absolutely out of your mind if you think I'm going to eat any sandwich like that," but I ask you to suspend your disbelief and give it a try. After all, trying new things is all part of the Dartmouth spirit. Plus, the worst that could happen is that you might not like one of your meals from DDS and I'm sure that would be an absolutely novel experience for you. So here we go:

You will need:

Turkey

Provolone cheese

Bread (your favorite kind, unless that means a non-sandwich bread, in which case, try again.)

Spicy mustard

Carrots

Onions

Cream cheese

Cranberry sauce spread

A microwave

For this one I'm just going to recommend outright that you go to FoCo. It will be a lot harder to assemble all of the necessary materials if you don't. What you want to order is a "New England Gobbler," but you are going to make a few substitutions and additions. You do not want whatever kind of cheese they give you (or maybe you do, but I have found that the provolone works nicely). You also do not want honey mustard, instead you will request spicy mustard (occasionally they don't have, so you may be forced to get regular yellow and add some hot sauce later- not a tragedy). You want to also request that they put carrots (or carots, as I have noticed DDS tends to spell it) and onions on it. Do not have them toast your sandwich. Once they have accommodated you, you want to go over to the cooler where the salad dressings are held and take out 2 small packets (what are those little round things called?) of cream cheese. You should put one on each side of your sandwich (wherever the sandwich naturally opens to is where you should put it, don't bother getting messy trying to put it on the bread itself) you should flatten it out so that it is evenly spread across the sandwich. There is no need to be precise in this process because the cream cheese is about to lose its form. Take your sandwich and put it in the microwave for about 1 and a half minutes, or until the cream cheese is hot and a little less solid. Then…

Enjoy your new sandwich from DDS and Sam, I am.